NEUROLOGY CYCLE.

When I was 8, someone asked me.. What do you want to be in the future? Without a second thought.Il say ‘a neurosurgeon!’ Always have,and always will.

But that was 14 years ago,when i didn’t realise it would be this hard..
2 weeks and half of neuro cycle,is one heck of a ride.
Human brain can only be so complicated,lol.
But very interesting at the same time.its not that bad,but yea they said most of the neurologist are ‘sick’ themselves.
Thank god Dr Elena is super nice to us even with our hijab :’) and she’s so brilliant,she made everything looks easy.

Met a pt with ataxia few days back,she’s been suffering for 31 years. I was trying so hard to holdback my tears.esp when she said ‘berlajar lah Anakku,guna kan ilmu yg Ada ubatkan pesakit Mcm Aku,kami perlukan kamu’ she said it in Russian of course,but still the look that she gave me was indescribable,render me speechless.

"Ni lah masalah Afa,senang sangat rasa simpati ,jadi doctor kena ‘hati kering! You can’t be easily attach to pt like that"

"Ni lah masalah Afa.senang sangat Percayaaaa dekat orang.. Cuba jadi jahat sikit."

”Ni lah masalah Afa,senang sangat mengalah dengan orang,Cuba jadi garang sikit.”

”Ni lah masalah Afa,senang sangat rasa bersalah dengan orang,Cuba jangan mengalah sikit..”

I’ve been hearing this A LOOOOOTTTT since forever 😔 Bainnun,ibu,cajan,KF etc etc semuaaaaaa dah berbuih nasihat dah,all the time. Its so hard for me to say no,i dont know why :(


sometimes even the simplest thing pun..

for example,few months back,A nigerian guy asked me for my number ,he followed me around practically for the whole 20 minutes,he didnt show any signs of giving up.i cant say no cause i dont want him to think that im racist or anything,and i felt bad about it :'( so i asked for his number instead! i know
-_______-' cajan and benon dahh cubit2 dahh haih but it worked!he finally agreed to leave.but since that day,he followed me around every time i bumped into him,asking why i didnt contact him!which was really creepy,but benon was my 'superwoman'! shes only 5ft 4 tapi berani diaa kalah bonzer! hehe ibu was so worried! so she bought me a pepper spray! haha (comel je ibu) but yea,il see him around every now and then,and he will just stare,he looks kinda pissed but benon will stare at him until he looks away! so im safe :p
okay thats just one of the example.hmm

I dont know,i will always put others before myself,always..,bukan nak ‘bajet baik’ or anything like that,but it’s just me,it’s my nature :( only someone yang dah kenal lama,will understand this. Others will just say, ‘she’s too naive.’ I know,changes should be made,to prevent others from taking advantage of myself.

But tak salah kan buat baik dengan orang,and sabar i mean after all kita Akan rasa lebih tenang.
how did neuro cycle brought me to this nigerian guy story! LOL eh ada kaitan! i guess the neurons in my hippocampus are too active,hence affecting my emotions :p

p.s:I guess I just need someone to protect me,remind me and guide me throughout this journey :)


P.s.s: Being a paediatrician is my next choice,I just love babies! Aaaaaaa my obsession,my kryptonite besides flowers and chocolate of course :p
can’t wait for that cycle inshallah :)