Patiently waiting for her happily ever after :)

Looking forward for 2015 <3
December,please end well :)

NEUROLOGY CYCLE.

When I was 8, someone asked me.. What do you want to be in the future? Without a second thought.Il say ‘a neurosurgeon!’ Always have,and always will.

But that was 14 years ago,when i didn’t realise it would be this hard..
2 weeks and half of neuro cycle,is one heck of a ride.
Human brain can only be so complicated,lol.
But very interesting at the same time.its not that bad,but yea they said most of the neurologist are ‘sick’ themselves.
Thank god Dr Elena is super nice to us even with our hijab :’) and she’s so brilliant,she made everything looks easy.

Met a pt with ataxia few days back,she’s been suffering for 31 years. I was trying so hard to holdback my tears.esp when she said ‘berlajar lah Anakku,guna kan ilmu yg Ada ubatkan pesakit Mcm Aku,kami perlukan kamu’ she said it in Russian of course,but still the look that she gave me was indescribable,render me speechless.

"Ni lah masalah Afa,senang sangat rasa simpati ,jadi doctor kena ‘hati kering! You can’t be easily attach to pt like that"

"Ni lah masalah Afa.senang sangat Percayaaaa dekat orang.. Cuba jadi jahat sikit."

”Ni lah masalah Afa,senang sangat mengalah dengan orang,Cuba jadi garang sikit.”

”Ni lah masalah Afa,senang sangat rasa bersalah dengan orang,Cuba jangan mengalah sikit..”

I’ve been hearing this A LOOOOOTTTT since forever 😔 Bainnun,ibu,cajan,KF etc etc semuaaaaaa dah berbuih nasihat dah,all the time. Its so hard for me to say no,i dont know why :(


sometimes even the simplest thing pun..

for example,few months back,A nigerian guy asked me for my number ,he followed me around practically for the whole 20 minutes,he didnt show any signs of giving up.i cant say no cause i dont want him to think that im racist or anything,and i felt bad about it :'( so i asked for his number instead! i know
-_______-' cajan and benon dahh cubit2 dahh haih but it worked!he finally agreed to leave.but since that day,he followed me around every time i bumped into him,asking why i didnt contact him!which was really creepy,but benon was my 'superwoman'! shes only 5ft 4 tapi berani diaa kalah bonzer! hehe ibu was so worried! so she bought me a pepper spray! haha (comel je ibu) but yea,il see him around every now and then,and he will just stare,he looks kinda pissed but benon will stare at him until he looks away! so im safe :p
okay thats just one of the example.hmm

I dont know,i will always put others before myself,always..,bukan nak ‘bajet baik’ or anything like that,but it’s just me,it’s my nature :( only someone yang dah kenal lama,will understand this. Others will just say, ‘she’s too naive.’ I know,changes should be made,to prevent others from taking advantage of myself.

But tak salah kan buat baik dengan orang,and sabar i mean after all kita Akan rasa lebih tenang.
how did neuro cycle brought me to this nigerian guy story! LOL eh ada kaitan! i guess the neurons in my hippocampus are too active,hence affecting my emotions :p

p.s:I guess I just need someone to protect me,remind me and guide me throughout this journey :)


P.s.s: Being a paediatrician is my next choice,I just love babies! Aaaaaaa my obsession,my kryptonite besides flowers and chocolate of course :p
can’t wait for that cycle inshallah :)

:)

Let time and fate decide,for now lets just go with the flow :)
Wise man once said,'we do not rush things that we want to lasts forever..'
Have faith in Allah,for He is the best planner.

Cant wait to be back in malaysia and spend my time with my family :')
Only Allah knows how much i miss them.

and the trees are filled with memories of the feelings never told :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8inJtTG_DuU&feature=youtu.be

MH370

Apakah yang Akan Allah lakukan apabila dia rindu pada hambanya?Allah akan kirim kan hadiah yang istimewa melalui malaikat jibrail yang isinya ialah ujian dan dugaan hidup.Allah berfirman melalui malaikat jibrail,'pergilah kepada hambaku,dan kirim kan lah ujian kepada nya,sesungguhnya Aku rindu Akan rintihannya.'
La Tahzan InnAllaha Ma'ana.
Be not sad or afraid. Indeed, Allah is always with us.[9:40] 
I can see all people around the world unite for this matter.Keep praying.Respect to the people who are still searching for the missing plane at this hour,and those continuing to pray.Lets pray if they're safe,they could hold on till the rescuers come to get them.Lets just stop all the speculation and blaming anyone but hope for the best.
‪#‎MH370‬

Ariana Rose

Akhirnyaaa,habis dahh cerita yg buat satu malaysia ternanti-nanti! haha well,at least it ended with a happy ever after :')
episode 27 of this drama,sangatlahh menyentuh hati and the last episode of course! haha  memang buat ramai lah anak dara tak tidur malam,having that dream wedding with someone you love :) and how tengku adam buat suprise for her,and the way he looked at her! haaiihh cair,me and my housemate gigit kuku kot tengok! :p bainnun yg duk layan cerita tamil pun dah layan ariana rose!
Tapi tipu lah kalau setiap gadis yg tengok cerita tu tak membayangkan wedding mcm tu?tapi apa yg penting is life after marriage,the eternal happiness :) Dapat suami yg boleh membimbing dan beri kebahagiaan dunia akhirat sudah memadai,kalau nak yg sempurna kita pun tak sempurna kan,perbaiki diri selagi ada masa,cari masa.Semoga terus istiqomah afa :')


BUT! haha back to reality lah,nothing like that exist in the real world :') semua tu dalam drama and novel boleh lah,but the least we could do is to pray for  a happy ending kan?
Banyak quote from that drama yg really struck me,especially about taubat.jodoh dan rezki :)
Macam mana hitam pun sejarah lepas kita,kalau buat taubat nasuha,dan bertekad untuk tak ulang kesalahan itu lagi inshallah allah akan terima taubat kita :) Its never too late,Allah maha penyayang maha pemaaf.
Siapa yang tak ada sejarah silam kan?after all,we are only human,sometimes kita rasa macam 'if only we could turn back time..' tapi nak ikutkan allah dah takdirkan setiap benda itu untuk berlaku,mesti ada pengajaran disebaliknya,wallahualam.


Selagi kita masih bernafas,selagi itu allah beri peluang untuk bertaubat.
One more thing is about jodoh.Memang betul orang kata,kalau tak usaha manakan jadi,kita tak boleh serah bulat2 pada takdir.Tetapi allah tu maha kaya,he is the best planner,by usaha means doa :) the best way to connect to people are with doa,inshallah kalau tak pernah terputus nama orang itu dalam doa kita,selagi itu dia dekat dengan kita walaupun tak berhubung sekalipun.Tetapi semua dah pun tertulis,just follow the flow :)

Minta orang doakan di mekah sudah,istiqarah pun sudah,now lets just wait for a miracle to happen.


God knows the journey you need to take before you do.Because the closer we get to Allah,the closer you are to each other,inshallah.
Now all i can think of is my family,counting days to be back in malaysia for summer :')

sesungguhnya :                                         Hati manusia

Allah yang pegang

Tak pelik kalau perasaan berubah
Dalam sekelip mataDia yang Maha Kuasa
Dia yang mengawal
Allahurobbi  
Here goes one of my favorite song from the movie :D

  

ONE OF MY FAVORITE SONG,AND ON REPEAT OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN :')

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyUBqsbsNGQ

THIS IS REALLY BEAUTIFUL :')
so anyone out there who wanted to try on the hijab,and see how you look with it,just let me know  I would love to help you put it on 

2014.

Bismillah

Alhamdulillah,2014 is finally here :)
So much things happened in 2013.Many unforgettable things.Some left me smiling whenever i think about it,some left tears in my eyes.
Felt like recapping all those moments,just so that i wont Forget 2013.

2013,ive made a biggest decision in my life,to change my perspective towards being in a relationship before the time comes.One of my biggest decision indeed,for i am just a normal human being,i flawed,make mistake and i learned from them.Kalau nak explain memang orang takkan faham,all they do is judge.So better i just keep things to myself.Orang tak rasa,orang tak tahu.After all,its my life,its my decision.Keputusan yang dibuat pun bukan in one night,did a lot of thinking,asked my families and bestfriends,dan yang paling penting minta petunjuk dari Allah.

2013,i also lost my bestfriend.It hits me that death does not wait for anyone,it could happen to anybody,anytime,anywhere.What are the odds,that it happened to my bestfriend :'( We were so close,like siblings.He passed away before he even turned 21.The saddest part is we  spend time the day before together,our whole group. Ya allah perasaan masa dapat tahu uma lemas,masih terasa.Macam tak percaya,baru sehari sebelum tu kita sama-sama makan,bergelak ketawa.
Tapi,setiap yang hidup pasti merasai mati,walaupun kita berlainan agama,bangsa but still aku terasa sangat kehilangan kau uma :'( Youre the closest person to me here in russia.

2013,both of my cousin got hitched! alhamdulillah kak nurul dan kak ana dah bertunang and getting married soon! alhamdulillah,i couldnt be any happier for them :') They are the closest cousin to me,more like adik beradik :') And from them too i learned untuk berhijab,belajar naik basikal haha semua lah,we share secrets everytime we meet,walaupun umur jauh beza tapi rasa tak ada jurang pun! I love you both!


2013,I went to new zealand and australia with my parents,and for the first time in my life,i went for bungee jumping!! HAHAHA, walaupun terpaksa merayu dekat abah ibu 3 hari 3 malam!tapi akhirnya dapat juga pujuk hihi,once in a lifetime experience! at least now i could die in peace  :p
No wait! this year nak cuba skydive pulak! that is a must! inshallah kalau dipanjangkan umur :)
And i did Hs0go ride too! masuk dalam bola besar,dia isi dengan air,then dia golekkan kita dari atas bukit! That was really exciting too! adrenain rush hi,and now i realize i am an adrenalin junkies.

2013,i went to PAU.For the first time.That was a totally new experience for me.Met so many people with amazing leadership skill.They really impressed me,the way they talk,they walk and everything in between are so,convincing? Learned a lot of things there,how to interact with people the right way,how we present ourselves.Met amazing country leaders like Tun M and his wife,Yb kj,and so many others.
Met a few people yang i get close quickly sebab sekepala and we just click! I guess age is not a boundary after all,sometimes their honesty yang buat kita senang percaya and tend to be close to them.Belajar banyak benda to at PAU.And that folks,let me just keep to myself :)

I guess itu lah some amazing and sad moment yang happen throughout 2013,actually banyak lagi but kalau nak tulis semua memang tak danlah! haha
And im so looking forward for 2014 because im starting over everything.Inshallah ,my new year resolution is to be a better muslim inshallah.Semoga allah permudahkan niat di hati.
And yes im planning to make a 2014 jar :) setiap kali benda yang berlaku,no matter good,bad,exciting or sad,im  going to write it down and place it in the jar :) Takkan buka kertas2 tu sampai lah malam 31/12/2014 nanti :D

Last but not least,ive learned a lot in this passed year,so many things.Some had left scars and some i wont forget.Tapi nama pun hidup? kalau tak ada cabaran,tiadalah kemanisan hidup :)
Lets just tutup buku lama,dan buka buku baru.

Its 2014.let go of people who make you feel negative emotions.
let go of people who make you feel like you’re not good enough.
be around people who make you smile and laugh.
be around people who think you’re amazing. 
be around people who make you feel happy.
don’t waste another year on people who don’t make you feel like you’re amazing :)
Have a great new year peeps! :DDD