In my life,ive met,and knew so many people,that made me who i am today,in another word,im blessed :') yes they are some that came in my life and left scars that could not be heal,but that's what made me stronger each day.i really wanted to write so many things right now,like a realllyyyy loooooong post,and 'vomit' everything out of my soul,but i just dont know how. One thing for sure is,i pray to God almighty,to strengthen my heart in facing all of the upcoming problems.
To whom it may concern,thank you so much for being part of my life these several meaningful years,only allah knows how happy and safe and blessed and loved i was.Nobody had made me felt that way,but we chose to change things for a better future,for blessings from allah,only allah knows our intention.we want to do things the right way,the real way.May allah ease things for us.
And alhamdulillah i get to straight things out,and allah opens their heart to accept the changes that i made.
Early marriage might be the solution?yes it is,but just so you know,im an only child,being born in a 'small' family which consist of me,my abah and ibu,have brought us close,so close that we are one.For the fact that im studying all the way in russia,for 6 years,and 'missing' all the time and moments ive should be spending with them,for the sake of becoming what i wanted to be,since i was 6,need a lot of sacrifice and fills with challenges.and coming back as a married woman,would change things.Yes,i cant give that as a reason for me,but the decision i've made is not an easy one,allah sudah tetapkan hati untuk pilih jalan sebegini.saya hanya mampu turuti.Besides that,im only finishing my second year,and for the fact that i still have 4 solid years to go,and being far from your husband,im not that strong.Since marriage is not an 'over night' decision.I know these are just reasons,reasons and reasons.But things happens for a reasons,and the bottom line is i just want to settle things one by one,step by step,by doing the right way.I couldnt predict the future nor i could change the pasts,im just doing things and following my intuition with the strength from allah.Its just so complicated to be explain,dan biarlah ia menjadi rahsia dihati.As for now,i can only pray for the best ending.
For those who supported my niat,and gave advices ,alhamdulillah only allah knows how much it means to me,For those who gave a negative feedback,negative comments,thank you.I will take that positively too,for a normal insan like me,making a sudden changes in my life,its not that easy,yes it hurts,even the people around me could see that i wasn't as happy as before,i tend to be quiet,not as cheerful and isolate myself from others.That was the beginning stage of my 'adaptation'.Alhamdulillah as time passes by,im getting stronger day by day.After all,im just a normal human being,with pasts and trying my best to at least make a change for my future.Im not perfect,il make mistakes,dan sesungguhnya hati manusia ini selalu berbolak-balik,tetapi kita hanya mampu berdoa supaya allah tetapkan hati kita.
Ramai yang tertanya-tanya,kenapa sekarang?kenapa tiba-tiba?Mungkin disebabkan doa daripada mereka-mereka yang mahu melihat kebahagiaan saya dunia dan akhirat.Mereka yang mahu saya mendapat keredhaan Allah.Its a big step for me too,as far as i know,im still the same.Inside and out,but trying my best to fix things,here and there.Kak ima ada beritahu masa usrah..'sesungguhnyaAllah suka akan perubahan yang hamba dia lakukan,biarlah sedikit,tetapi bertambah dari masa ke semasa dan terus istiqomah,daripada perubahab yg drastik tetapi hanya sementara..' Doakan lah saya.
Sebelum kita dilahirkan,allah sudah tetapkan 4 perkara.
1)rezeki,2)ajalnya,3)amalnya dan 4)penghujung hidupnya.dan sesungguhnya jodoh termasuk dibawah rezeki allah yg telah ditentukan olehnya.kita hanya mampu berdoa yang terbaik.Lillahita'ala banyak lagi kelemahan diriku yang perlu diperbaiki,semoga allah tetapkan hati untuk terus istiqamah dalam segala perubahan yang dilakukan.Ameen.
Untuk sekarang,afa nak cari redha allah,kerana disitu terletaknya kebahagiaan,afa nak balas jasa abah ibu dahulu,yang tiada kata mampu ditulis untuk menyatakan pengorbanan mereka yang memberi harapan dan dorongan setinggi gunung kepada afa,dan segalanya.Juga janji afa pada arwah nenek.
Insyallah jodoh pertemuaan ditangan tuhan,kalau sudah tertulis di luh mahfuz awak ditakdirkan untuk saya.terpisah hujung dunia sekali pun,pasti akan bertemu jua :')
surah al baqarah (2:216) Fighting has been enjoined upon you while it is hateful to you. But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7g6YoWnA0w&list=PLObh6QKeEKHjVY9mxrV_oPWxbIjqbxeK1
Semoga dipermudahkan jodoh Saudari Sharifah Nur"Insyirah...Insha-Allah
ReplyDeleteYa ALLAH Grant her someone who will remind of her of YOU
Grant her someone who will hold her hand to Jannah...Amin